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Using Relationship Clues to Find Your Freedom

Does it seem like something's missing?

Lone figure in need of counselling therapy stands at the end of a dock looking out toward an orange and white sky.

Let's face it. Life can feel very challenging, especially in our interactions with other people. Even people we feel close to may not always seem to have our best interests at heart. Over time, often without our even being aware how it happened, we can find ourselves feeling isolated, not good enough, not belonging. Maybe not even loveable. Our closest relationships can seem flat, and it may feel like there's really no one to turn to for support. We can end up feeling disconnected from ourselves and everyone else.

People are often seeking a sense of direction or purpose, or perhaps a feeling of worthiness and belonging. They may want a balanced life with healthy, harmonious relationships in which they are able to both give and receive support equally. Others long for understanding or acceptance of who they really are, a feeling of freedom, or peace of mind.

The pain of disconnection

Are any of these issues familiar to you?

  • You feel angry, sad or afraid
  • You're subject to unexpected mood swings
  • You are troubled by harmful thoughts
  • You've stopped doing things you used to really enjoy
  • You're feeling isolated or alone
  • You feel like you're losing control
  • Your relationships feel strained
  • You wish you had someone to talk to

Solving the puzzle

What if you could finally enjoy some peace of mind? A feeling of worthiness and belonging. A sense of direction or purpose. Acceptance of who you really are. Healthy, harmonious relationships.

How to get there might seem like a giant puzzle, but the clues to solving it are in all your relationships - with family, friends, colleagues, co-workers, romantic partners - in short, everyone. A big reason that's true is because our perception of the way other people interact with us actually mirrors the essence of our own relationship with ourselves, which is the relationship most essential to our happiness. For most of us, deciphering the clues and following where they lead can be very tricky, and is best done with someone who can provide an environment in which we consistently feel secure and supported.

How counselling can help

Counselling offers a safe environment in which you can explore your inner world. With counselling, you get to uncover what's really going on for you, and you get to do that in complete confidence. A major advantage of counselling is that you become more self-aware, and with that awareness you gain understanding. Understanding can provide a sense of choice and freedom around who you want to be in relationship with yourself and others.

It's very difficult to reach that freedom on our own, because so much of what is really driving our thoughts and feelings is often hidden from ourselves. We all have significant blind spots about ourselves, and so objective support is very important. Being in therapy with an empathetic, non-judgemental, qualified professional allows you the opportunity to honestly view yourself through another's eyes and gain a new, more helpful perspective. My experience is that your life and how you feel about yourself and others can significantly change as a result.

A diversity of approaches

As a Registered Therapeutic Counsellor, I use a variety of experiential approaches developed from modalities that include Polyvagal Theory, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFiT), Byron Katie's "The Work", Nonviolent Communication, Transpersonal, Family Systems Theory, Gestalt, Voice Dialogue, Mindfulness Training, Psychodrama, Inner Child Work and others.

Would you like a safe place, either in person or online, to explore this a bit further? Get a free 20-minute consultation with no obligations.